Im Yours
by Ms. Amanda Rose
Summary: This is my story. Im mean really its why I gve up on everything. Except i used Bella instead of my name and Jacob in replace...yea read its....asad story. idont know if its good. its just my story everything in it is 100percent true.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay this...is a true story.**

**My story. Why Im so sad all the time. I'm just using Bella and Jacob as examples.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. :)**

BPOV

Why? That's always the question. Why?

Why are you doing this? Why what did I do? What...why?

Why, why, why.

Well...I can't believe I had the nerve to ask why again.

"Why are you doing this again Jake?"

I remember always asking him why he was going out. Why he never seemed to be there.

Finally he decided he was done. I asked why like an idiot.

He told me he had a headache. That 'this' (us) was giving him a headache.

It was late at night and then he left. I called his cell he wouldn't answer; I texted I did everything. I ended up crying all night.

I remember when I first met him. We didn't talk.

I was staying after school for newspaper things. He had joined with my friends. Well my future best friends.

I talked to everyone around him. We would say awkward hi's but that's it.

One day I went into the classroom we used and no one was there yet. So I took out my copy of a book I was reading. It was called Twilight.

I was reading and suddenly he asked me what I was doing. He sat down next to me and we started talking.

He had wanted to read the book. My copy was old and falling apart so I said no. That didn't stop him from asking though.

He took my cell phone and scrolled threw songs. We started a game where he'd play a song and I'd say the artist and song title. I messed up a couple of times.

After that he left to go find my friend he came back with he seconds later.

She sat on his lap next to me while I took out a laptop and did research and such. Finally my sis called and I had to leave. My sis heard him in the back round and asked his name. He heard and told me.

"Jake"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We became friends. We txted and stuff. He finally bought his own twilight copy and didn't ask me anymore.

After awhile I realized I liked him. I didn't tell him, but one day my friends made plans to go to the movies. I invited my friend Megan and Jake was already going.

Before school ended though I ended up telling her I liked him. Before she really said anything. He came over and said he was waiting for his girlfriend. I ran.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks later I stayed after school again. He hadn't gone to the movies. I think my friend told him. I'm still not sure to this day.

He was staying after because he got in trouble again. Rumor was his girlfriend dumped him. I didn't know how to feel about that.

He was sitting on the bench outside I was with a different friend. She ran up to him and he started talking to him. I just stood there and he bluntly said ' you like me' to me.

I panicked and so 'um...no.' My friend knew I was lying he didn't.

He didn't talk to me for months. 2 to be exact. I tried everything...he wouldn't talk.

When he talked to me again. We admitted we liked each other. He said 'I know' but I knew he wasn't sure.

We talked...but I eventually I gave up. He had a girlfriend again.

We didn't talk again...until Valentines day actually. I was talking to him on the computer when he said text me.

I did and we talked all day. I liked him so much. I ended up...feeling bad...he had a girlfriend.

The next day at school he hugged me like we used to. It was so confusing...but I liked it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We didn't talk much after that. I don't know why. When Spring break came...he got so mad at me. He was moving and he took some of his anger out on me. Well I hope that's what it was.

We didn't talk....for about a month. I was so...upset. I thought he hated me. Finally...it was May. He was online on IM. So...I IMed him.

He seemed content. Happy to talk to me.

He asked me if I still liked him. I still did. So I didn't lie.

We started talking again. Texting again.

One day...another crush I had...hurt me. I came home crying. I texted him. Yes he lived far but he helped me more then anyone.

He at first just talked to me, but then he asked who hurt me. I told him.

Our night was him at first telling me it wasn't smart me hanging out with him. Then...our conversation went to us. How we liked each other.

The next day I found out he was still with his girlfriend. I cried...but he convinced me it was over she was cheating on him.

It was true. She was cheating on him, but it wasn't over.

We talked still and the days went on. When he came back home we made plans to see each other.

He canceled last minute. So instead I called him and we talked. He said he loved me. I was surprised and we went back to texting.

He asked me if I loved him. I said...I wasn't sure...but I ended up saying it back.

I told him randomly to guess what song was stuck in my head. He guessed and I told him what song it was.

I had remembered he had told me...what song was his favorite.

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.

That was stuck in my head. He ended up sending me some of the words.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then came what I told you.

I have a huge headache.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We don't talk anymore. We tried being friends...but we couldn't. He had his girlfriend.

She was with him..even though he apparently loved me.

I think now...that he didn't love me.

I don't know.

Right now...I'm hurt...and sad.

Right now...its funny. How I'm hanging out with the guy Jake told me not too.

He's helping me threw this. I...think I like him alot more then I liked Jake.

I don't know. I just don't know.

* * *

**_I've been spending way to much time_**

**_Checking my tongue_**

**_in the mirror And bending over_**

**_backwards just trying to see you clearer_**

**_But my breath fogged up the glass._**

**_So I drew a new face and laughed. :)_**

* * *

**This is real.**

**All of this happened. To me.**

**Its only a one-shot because its all recent.**

**The difference is my name is Amanda not Bella.**

**Jake...well his name the actual guy was named Jacob.**

**I called him Jay.**

**Those are the only differences.**

**He made me think I was in love and suddenly ran away. **

**He hates me. :'(**

**And sometimes...I still think...I wasn't good enough for him.**

**Those are the words he sent me. And he had also said. I effin LOVE YOU!!!!!!! I hate it. Ihate thinking about it. I hate hurting. :/**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey**_

_**Did u miss me?**_

_**Lol. I have more thoughts that are somewhat random. :)**_

_**Here u go. **_

_**Think what you wish though I don't care.**_

_**Disclaimer: no**_

* * *

BPOV (really mine)

I had nothing to do.

So much was going through my mind. Moving?

My sisters were fine with it. I was…okay with it.

I didn't know what to say. Now here I am…wondering how to deal with leaving.

I don't mind leaving my dad. My mom wants to go. Do I?

Maybe

I want to be able to get advice…from the guy who always helped me.

So…I decided…to try and ask for help.

_To: Jake_

_I need help_

I didn't expect a response.

I set my phone down and went to bed. Even though I knew wouldn't be able to sleep. The text would be bothering me. Plus I had a song stuck in my head.

I blame my sister for it.

It was by Demi Lovato. It was called don't forget. Really the words bothered me.

I spent half an hour just laying there. I was just starting to fall asleep when my phone beeped.

_From: Jake_

_Hey what do you need help with?_

That threw me. So I told him about moving. He gave me his advice. I took it.

He then made fun of my height like he always used to do. Just because he's taller doesn't give him that right. I really didn't care at the time though.

It was really late. Like midnight…no one was awake.

He said 'yea but you know you'll miss me.'

When haven't I missed him?

I told him that. He told me it wasn't a good thing. I told him I know.

Because I do know…I know it's not a good thing.

_From: Jake_

_It's a bad thing for you to love me so much and that you're going to miss me so much because you always going to carry that burden in your heart and that may or may not hold you back from striving to your best._

Does that mean he cares? I don't know.

So much was said. This is the most important though. It was that damn song that made me think of asking that question.

_Do you regret meeting me?_

I waited. He answered after a couple of long minutes.

_No. Do you?_

I answered fast.

_No_

_From: Jake_

_You sure?_

My answer took some thought. Weirdly it did, but I need I was sure. I told him I was.

_From: Jake_

_Good to know._

I don't know what to think. I can honestly say though…it helped in a weird way.

He doesn't hate me. We're civil to each other; which I'm grateful for. I don't think I will ever understand this guys mind though.

I wish I could.

* * *

_**Again**_

_**This is my story.**_

_**This happened this morning/last night.**_

_**There you go. **_


	3. Chapter 3

**Continuing is helping me.**

**I like hearing your thoughts on whats going on.**

**I really don't understand it.**

**Maybe you guys do?**

**Don't forget my story! Literally**

**Disclaimer: I dont own Bella or Jacob.**

BPOV!!

It was late. I couldn't sleep. Again

My sleep patterns were messed up. I would go to bed at like one and sleep till 12.

I decided...to try again. To see if me and Jake were friends or not.

_Did you tell your friends right away when you found out you were moving?_

He always answered my questions. I had no idea why he would bother but he did. Thats another reason I used to like him so much.

He answered not to long later.

_Why?_

That wasn't surprising. I told him I wanted to know if I should tell my friends that I was leaving. He said I should tell them...but not to say I was 100 percent sure. I agreed.

He didn't respond. I then realized something.

Had I ever said thank you to him? I asked.

_Not once._

You have no idea how bad I felt. Yes he got mad at me at times. Yes were had so many fights you'd be amazed. Thats true..but hes been there too.

He's listening to me whine. Hes listened to me cry. He's answered every question Ive ever asked and Ive never thank you.

So I did. The text was long and ended with me apoligizing. I had said..._I'm sorry for being so...ungrateful._

_Don't be its ok._

It wasn't okay. Well to me it wasn't. I told him I was stupid for not thanking him for being there.

_Its ok seriously its no problem. _

I will never understand this boy. **(Megan_Cullen123 do you understand jay cause I dont!?!)**

It never will make sense. Why is he so nice to me? Even when I don't deserve it. I told him I thought he was to nice. He then asked if that was good or bad.

To me its both. I love that hes nice to me when he is. But I also...don't like it because...its confusing. I asked him why he was so nice.

I waited and didn't get it was responce. It was about 11:20. I waited. Hoping to get a responce.

I know he wasn't asleep. He didn't sleep at night. I don't know why but he never does. He used to spend that time texting me. Which is kinda what hes doing again.

When my phone beeped I jumped. It was so quiet the noise scared me.

_Well its just something about you._

What does that mean? I asked him if it was a compliment. He said it depends on how I look at it.

I decided to take it as a compliment. I thanked him which Im going to do more. The whole conversation was just plain confusing. Does he care?

Why does he care? Are we friends?

I'm scared to ask.

I don't want to ruin this. I missed him.

I missed being able to talk to him about pointless things. I missed being able to tell him something and him not judging me. Which is what happened.

We somehow ended up talking about the dying celebrites. He said its the end of the world and we were going to die. I told him I didn't want to...anymore.

His responce.

_Excuse me?_

I said nevermind. Even though I did mind. This was the one thing he didn't know about me. He knew pretty much everything. Except for my old stupidty.

_Yes just tell me._

I told him. I told him what I once was. Expecting him to think I was nuts. Instead...he didn't.

_Well it doesn't matter to me._

I said _it doesn't? _

_Well no because you said once so that was in the past and 2nd its ur life im not going to tell u the choices to make or not make._

I was speechless. **(for the 1st time ever!!) **I responded with something I'd be saying alot more.

_Thank you._

* * *

**Well?**

**I'm going to update alot on this.**

**that happened. last night/this morning. lol**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey**

**its been awhile.**

**I have alot of things i can tell you.**

**but im only saying some.**

**Things jay and I talk about can get really...personal or private.**

**So I'm skipping to today.**

**Disclaimer: The story in general is mine. but bella and jacob arent**

BPOV

Well guess what? I, Bella Swan am damn confused.

I don't understand my feelings or anything thats happening.

Jake and I talk everyday and hell every hour now.

He says good morning and says goodnight to me. He does listen to me which I love, but...there are times where I just want to end whatever this is.

Yes this may sound stupid to some, but I dont care.

Yes I'm a virgin and this may seem off topic but its not. He isn't a virgin and well he makes it known that he wants an intimate relationship.

Were not even in a relationship! I think?

It makes me unconfortable...but sometimes...I feel like I might lose him if nothing 'like that' happens between us.

Thats my recent problem. Before yesterday sex was...we talked some but very little about it.

Really I just wanted to get to know him better. Which I did. He will always answer my questions so I asked him his favorite color.

_Black._

I asked him if he could do anything what would he do. He said.

_Fix my life. _I asked why? He said.

_For me._

I don't get it at all. This morning I was suppose to see him. We didn't hang out though but before I had called my best friend Megan. She didn't answer. So I called her again. This is our conversation for the most part.

**(Megan-Cullen123 I barely remember our conversation so yeahhh. lol)**

Me: I called you this morning and you didn't answer.

Megan: I sleep in till 2 you know that. **(Megan you said some shit like that idk)**

Our conversation was of nothing. It was me freaking out. Then Megan told me she has a video of Jake being stupid and funny. **(Send me the video btw Megan.)**

Talking to her helped. I guess.

I'm still upset. Especially since I'm texting him now. Sex seems to be everything now.

Where the hell did my Jake go!?!

This is making me sad and mad. Yes I know every guy is somewhat obsessed with sex and if you've found one that isn't I applaud you.

I know he likes talking about it etc. But god can we have a normal conversation please??????

I want to tell him that.

But I can't.

Something will go wrong etc.

We have a hate love relationship. I hate him and sometimes I think I might love him.

I don't know what to do anymore. Help?

* * *

**Help!!!!!!!!!**

**Idk what to think.**

**I am texting him now. so help.**

**Megan-Cullen123. PLEASE HELP PLEASE.**

**IM FREAKING OUT ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY.**

**~Can u talk to him or something? Please. I will love you forever!~**

**Okay so review and i'll update later**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey.**

**Last chapter.**

**Just because.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bella or Jacob**

BPOV

I'm not confused anymore.

I'm happier actually. Guess why? Jake and I broke up. Well you can't call it breaking up when he still had a girlfriend now can you? Its funny to me actually.

He was going to cheat on her with me. The thing is...its funny. He said he wouldn't cheat. Lies!!! Jacob Black is so stupid.

He didn't even love me. That's the sad part in it. He seemed so sweet but in the end he just wanted..yeah sex. When I told him thats what I thought he got all defensive. That proves it right there.

He didn't really love me. And he even bothered to say I didn't love him. After I've told him everything. Everything bad that has ever happened to me.

So now I sit. Perfectly fine.

That's because...well I deserve better.

I always went back to him because...I'm nothing. Dark brown hair, dark eyes, nothing special. **(That's my actual hair and eye color)**

When he complimented me and was nice to me. I thought...well I was amazed. That's why I wanted to be with him so badly. So heres what I learned don't settle for the 1st guy just because you don't think you can get another.

I'm still not sure whats going to happen.

Well I know I'm not speaking to him again. Just because I didn't want to have sex.

FREAK.

Ha its funny how I don't hate him. I actually think its funny that he expected me to do that. He told me to go to Dairy Queen. **(Really Dairy dip)**

I told him know and it started this whole chain reaction. That ended up us fighting and us ending.

I don't care.

I...needed to talk to someone. My mom and I were going to the store this morning and I broke down. I was crying and I barely understood why.

It was the vulnerable Bella crying. The Bella that thinks of herself as nothing of interest.

I ended up telling her how hurt I was and some of what happened. Not every detail. Maybe I'll say everything one day I dont know.

I just know I'm okay.

Jacob didn't want me.

He would've left his girlfriend.

I mean he had her to fuck. (sorry just annoyed)

He didn't really need me. He was using me. He used me before too, I was just hoping it was different now.

It wasn't.

So yeah I deserve better. Everyone in life deserves someone they can love and be happy with. I know I deserve that.

He pretended he would give me that. Until...I said no.

I'm glad I said no.

1: I wasn't ready

2: He didn't love me

3: I knew in my gut he was just going to leave me

So yeah that's it. Bella+Jake....yeah no.

I'll figure it out. I'll be fine. I know I will.

Last night it ended and its going to stay that way.

I'm glad.

I'm happier without him. I thought I was happier with him. That's not the case. :)

I defended myself. I choose not to do anything. He made be made. He says I lead him on. Just because I had a weak point and actually said okay for a moment.

He could tell I wasn't sure. He didn't care. So I'm gong to say this again.

I deserve better.

Everyone deserves better.

* * *

**Now you know why its the last chapter. :)**

**Me and Jay are OVER.**

**I'm okay with that. I wasn't ready and I didn't do anything.**

**He can go cry to hailee. (his gf) lol**

**Iloveeverythingtwilight did u die!!! pm me. :)**

**Megan! Josh called me like an hour ago?? wtf!!!**

**so yeah review. ? **


End file.
